I've just had a hell of a time getting motivated to write. Scratch that. The motivation is always there. It's finding the time. And the follow through. It's not that my brain hasn't been constantly vomiting up stupidity, and not that interesting things haven't happened. It's finding an appropriate nexus of those two things: How to make "interesting things" and my vomitous mind produce writing that's (barely) readable, (marginally) engaging and (seldom) worthy of committing to.
(See what I mean?)
Not that a lack of these things is ever much of a deterant for me or for anyone posting to the interweb.
But I've struggled with sitting down and doing it. And while I have some plans and things in the works (yawn....)at some point you just have to start up, even if it's not the epic beginning you were hoping for.
A lot of it stems from just being busy.
Busy enough that at the end of the day it sometimes seems hard to justify sitting down and telling stories that often don't seem worth the cyberspace they occupy.
My "comeback" to the cycling blob was initially going to be a while back....when Dicky penned his opus, "Mayonaise and Your Colon: 5 Topical Treatments They Don't Want You To Know About!"
He brought up some valid (vapid) points regarding the death (dearth) of the cycling blog. And damnit, I was going to rise to the occasion.
And then I got hungry.
And then I got sick.
And then I tried to squeeze out for a ride.
And then my son got sick.
And then a customer called me. On my cell phone. At 10pm. Multiple times.
And then I tried to squeeze out for a ride.
And then one of the dogs vomited on my bed.
And then I put my hand in it (not spotting it until the wee hours of morning when my brain alarm was set off by the very wrong texture my fingers had discovered on the blanket.)
And then I yelled at the wrong dog (because it was so much vomit I just assumed it was Loki (Baddog!))
And then Mango, the true culprit, vomited on the bed again. (which prompted me to make profuse apologies to the ever bewildered Loki.)
And then I had to tell Sophie to stop backward 69ing Loki.
And then I had to watch this video and every one in the series.
And then the shop got busy.
Fact is, the shop's been busy all year. Kind of crazy busy.
Not that we blew up. But.... well....we kind of blew up?
And not the way I thought we were going to 4 years ago when I called Charles Von MockOrangenburg and told him I was calling it quits.
Oh... and then, three years ago I sent an email to some close friends telling them I was throwing in the towel. (Yeah.)
Man... What can I say? Times was tough! And while I always operate on the rivet... I was on the rivet's rivet (of the rivet). Burned out.... depressed.... (more) broke (than usual).
There's alot to say on that topic, but I'm going to hold off.... let the story unfold slowly.
Regardless....something happened.... We just finally nailed some of the tricks we'd been trying.
Do I have shattered elbows, a bum knee, and a few concussions? Yeah.
But that's a part of it. Likening it to skateboarding, you just keep trying new shit until you finally nail it.
I mean... don't get me wrong. I'm a far cry from Tony Hawk. Honestly, I feel more like Jay Adams or Duane Peters most days (but without any of their talent.)
Yeah.. some of my tricks are old and have been done before.... and maybe I'm still mastering the ollie.
Yeah... some of them are stupid and make no sense at all from a business perspective... this blog and what I deem worthy content being one of them. But as I've said many a time... I'm not a business man. And the shop isn't a business.
That sounds assanine, I know... and I absolutely recognize that such thinking is potentially an obstacle to financial "success."
(Reminds me of the time, probably a year into the shop, when I approached the landlord about lowering the rent. He told me that the problem wasn't that my expenses were too high based on my cashflow... but that my "negative cloud of energy" was driving business away. And while I'm not exactly Mr. Positive Positivity, I doubt that it was the negative cloud that drove people away any more than my horrible business sense. Either way, instead of a new lease, I walked away from the meeting a bit confounded with the landlord's copy of THE POWER OF YOUR SUBCONCIOUS MIND under my arm. (And I admit I read it. And then, using the power of my subconcious mind, I successfully negotiated a new f***ing lease.))
Nonetheless... it's been, to my mind, a successful year.
Keep in mind that it's all relative. My level of financial success is more along the lines of not having to worry about bouncing rent checks (as often).
I make joke with you.
My learning curve for running this place has been steep, and I've gotten better at it over that past 6 years. I still learn things every day that I should have known from the get go. And I make mistakes everyday that I shouldn't.
But we seem to be doing something right lately, and it feels good to have some solid proof that at least some people appreciate it (thanks you crazy bastards!)
The shop is alot of things...
It's my livelihood, yes, and I depend completely on the income it generates for my survival.
But it's also an experiment.
It's an art project.
It's a way of life. (trite and cliche as it sounds.)
It's my bastard son.
It's my white whale.
|"Long live the fighters!"|
And for the tens of you that "enjoy"(?) the dumb stories, absurd bluster and discomfitting confessions found in this blog.... I promise to do better.
Here's to another year of chasing white whales and sandworms, and to the Revolution.